i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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