he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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