I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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