I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
