At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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