And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
