maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
