hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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