If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
