Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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