i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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