Yo dont text me then not text me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
