I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
