True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I touched a dick in church today
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