Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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