what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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