i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
