4 words: hood of his car
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
