rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
