WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
