do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
