before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
so much tequila, so little girl.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
