she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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