ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
