I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
