I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize