when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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