i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize