Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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