Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
