but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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