how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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