I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
