Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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