What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
