left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
