Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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