Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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