ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
