He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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