I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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