remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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