I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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