Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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