I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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