I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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