they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize