remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
