Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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