He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
