Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
