So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
