I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
