your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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