is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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