I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
