yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
