At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
