Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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