that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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