Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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