At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
