found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize