He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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