we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
