he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
