I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
