He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
